


A Tale Of Fishes and Furs

by Pemberley_Press



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fisherman Merlin, Fluff, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Selkie AU, selkie!Eggsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-10 20:03:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13508796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pemberley_Press/pseuds/Pemberley_Press
Summary: Merlin is a lone fisherman who stumbles upon more than he ever bargains for when he comes across an injured seal.





	1. It lies beneath the surface

His mother had warned him about the fishermen, about their disregard for the creatures that lived in the vast ocean kingdom. He hadn’t listened, headstrong and curious, and now he was to be killed by one of them.  
The little boat had come out of nowhere, tearing at his skin and knocking him nearly unconscious. His head above water, he cried out as the pain made his vision blurry. The last sight he saw before the darkness had claimed him were frantic, but kind greygreenbrown eyes meeting his, and a curse slipping from a sad mouth.  
\---  
Eggsy had woken up on the sand, cold and wet. He felt wrong, he felt naked and exposed. He had heard stories of his kind making their way to the land, and what happened to them there. He’d never wanted it, he’d loved his home. This was wrong .  
He lifted a hand, and held it up to his face. The skin was pale, the fingers long and unnatural, wide apart. The hard, shiny nails on the end nothing but a pointless distraction, not like his own claws. He quickly dropped his hand. It was wrong, he didn’t want to see more of this body, this skin that wasn’t his own.  
His skin. His pelt .  
Eggsy had pushed himself up, meaning to search for his pelt, and instead had been greeted by a crippling pain in his head. He’d clutched at it with his hands, and screwed his eyes shut.  
“What are you?” A voice from nearby demanded.  
The words sounded foreign, harsh, unlike the soft sounds his own family and friends used to communicate. It took Eggsy a moment to parse them out into something he could understand.  
“Eggsy.”  
“Ye aren’t like any Eggs I’ve seen before.”  
“My name is Eggsy. Eggsy.”  
Eggsy opened his eyes, dropped his hands and looked up to the voice’s owner. The greygreenbrown eyed fisherman. His kind eyes had taken on a cynical, dark look. Eggsy wondered if he’d misjudged the man.  
“Okay, Eggsy. Mind explaining ta me then how one minute, I’m dragging an injured seal onto my boat and bringing him ashore. Next minute, there’s just ye. Naked Prince Charming.” The fisherman crossed his arms, “What are you?”  
“I’m a Selkie.” Eggsy huffed.  
The fisherman had simply stared, eyes boring into Eggsy’s.  
“I’m a seal in the ocean, but on land I shed my skin and become human. Selkie.”  
“Obviously.”the man deadpanned.  
“Where’s my pelt?”  
“Yer what?”  
“My skin, my sealskin.”  
“I haven’t seen any sealskin since ye changed.” The fisherman told him, “Just all ye, as naked as a jaybird like ye are now."  
“No, no!” The panic in Eggsy heightened, he needed his skin, he needed to go home and find his mother. He needed to apologize for never believing her, he needed to be close to her and let her tend his wounds. He needed to be anywhere but here, stuck in the broken, messy human form. He tried to push himself to his feet, but his body, his damn human body was aching and sore and complicated.  
The fisherman moved to his side, grabbed hold of him, “Easy now lad, settle down ye are rather badly injured, ye shouldn’t just be flailing about.”  
“No, you don’t understand. I need it.” Eggsy said, trying to push him away, “I need my skin, or I’m trapped. I’m trapped and I can’t be trapped. I can’t be human, I need it.”  
“We’ll find it. Okay, I promise to help ye find it, but right now you need to rest. Can't let ye hurt yourself worse.”  
Intellectually, Eggsy knew he was right. He sagged against the fisherman, “I’m so tired.”  
“Let me get you back to my home, you can rest there for the night.”  
“Just a night?”  
“Just a night.” The fisherman agreed.

  
It was four nights before Merlin would even let Eggsy up from the bed, except for the essentials. He brought him food, mostly broth, and hot tea. He tended the wounds at his side, and made sure Eggsy was comfortable.  
When he wasn’t tending to him, Merlin went out in search of Eggsy’s skin, taking his small yapping dog with him. He told Eggsy he’d searched every inch of the small cove, and there wasn’t a trace of it.  
Eggsy was surprised to find he believed him.  
There was never really any discussion about where Eggsy would go now he was stuck on land. Merlin had simply shown him where everything was in the small house, properly introduced the small dog as JB and told him he’d be out to sea a lot.

\-----

Nothing really changed in their first few months together. Merlin would go out early to catch fish, would take them into the local town to sell, and return in the evening. He’d make them dinner, and retire to bed early.  
Eggsy would stay awake until the early hours, reading one of the well thumbed books in the small living area. Stories of adventure, daring rogues, clever inventors, magic and mystery drew his eyes the most, but he had a soft spot for the romances as well.  
He’d sit up, in the large living room chair, with JB snoring softly on his lap or by his side, and often fall asleep with his head in a book. He’d wake up later in the day with an ache in his neck, and a blanket pulled over him. His book would always have its place marked with an old photo of a pretty young girl, who couldn’t be much older than 16.  
Eggsy asked who she was the first night he’d found the photo, and the look Merlin had given him in lieu of an answer had turned his blood cold.  
It would take another six months for him to find the answer.  
\---  
“Why don’t you live in the town? And why do you live by yourself?” Eggsy asked, across dinner one night.  
Merlin gave him a look which would have put most people off. But Eggsy wasn’t most people.  
“I mean, Roxanne at the pub obviously likes you, and so does that Mr.Hart.” Eggsy continued, “So why is it just you?”  
A bark from JB.  
“And JB, all the way out here?”  
“Because that’s how I like things.” Merlin said. His tone of voice beggared no argument.  
Not that something such as that ever stopped Eggsy.  
“No, it isn’t.”  
“And how do you know what I like, Eggsy?”  
“Well, you’re the only person I’ve spent any real time around for the past year almost” Eggsy pointed out.  
“Doesn’t mean you know me.”  
Eggsy smiled, put his spoon down on the table and cracked his knuckles.  
“You don’t like being a fisherman. You do it because it keeps you away from people.”  
“What gives you that idea?”  
Merlin’s voice had dipped into a purr. This was a game. He wanted to win.  
“You’re terrible at getting up in the morning. If it was in your blood, something you truly loved, you wouldn’t need JB to gnaw on your leg to wake you every morning.”  
JB had the good grace to whine a little in embarrassment.  
“Maybe I’m just not a morning person.”  
“You can’t tell the difference between haddock and pollock.”  
“You obviously can?”  
“Selkie, Merlin.” Eggsy helpfully reminded him.  
Merlin waved his hand dismissively, “Lucky guess. Most people hate their jobs.”  
“I never did.”  
Merlin cocked an eyebrow.  
“I looked after the pups, while their parents fished.” Eggsy explained, “We don’t just flap around, swimming all day.”  
Merlin was trying to hide a small smile, as if he was charmed by the idea of Eggsy playing with Selkie pups.  
“Okay, I hate my job. That’s no secret. Doesn’t mean you know me.” Merlin wasn’t about to let Eggsy know he’d got under his skin, not with something so small.  
Eggsy smiled. He could do this, “The girl in the photo is your sister.”  
Merlin’s smile dropped, his hand gripping the fork so tightly that his knuckles had gone white. Eggsy hadn’t noticed the tension in the room, and continued to talk.  
“See, I thought your wife at first, but she’s too young. Also with the way you look at me, and Harry, the way you talked on those first nights, your preferences don’t lie with women, which also ruled out daughter.” Eggsy continued.  
“Eggsy.”  
“I think she’s why you live out here as well,” Eggsy didn’t pick up on the warning in Merlin’s tone, “Something happened with her, and you couldn’t stay near…”  
Merlin slammed his hands on the table, and Eggsy jumped in fear at the noise. Merlin pushed himself to his feet, and stormed from the room. Eggsy was in two minds as to whether to follow him, when the door to the house had slammed shut.  
\---  
When Eggsy woke up, Merlin was in the chair in the corner of the room, slunk down low, bottle in his hand. The curtains were drawn, and the lights were off.  
“Merlin?” Eggsy rubbed at his eyes.  
“Her name was Mairi. She’s dead.” Merlin said.  
His voice sounded hoarse, like he’d been crying or screaming, or possibly both. His words also sounded slurred, the bottle was probably empty.  
“Merlin, I’m so sorry.”  
“Our Da was rather a bastard. He used to drink too much, and then he’d take his problems out on us. I’d take the brunt of it, get Mairi as far away from everything as I could, but…” Merlin took a deep breath to get himself under control, “I wasn’t there that day, and when I got… when I got home…”  
Eggsy wanted to get to his feet, to wrap Merlin in his arms and hold him close. He didn’t know if Merlin even wanted him near him, so he kept his arms around his knees.  
“I came out here because I couldn’t handle the goddamn looks of pity on everyone’s face in that damn town, how sorry everyone was for Mairi when they didn’t goddamn know her, or care when we were being fucking hurt.” Merlin’s voice had broken, and Eggsy’s heart had gone with it.  
“Merlin.”  
“So, you were right, Eggsy. Something happened, and I don’t want to be around people anymore.” Merlin snapped, “But ye… just, ye are fuckin you.”  
“You’d be surprised how often I’ve heard that.” Eggsy said, with a smile.  
A small smile came across Merlin’s face, “I wouldn’t.”  
“I am sorry, Merlin.” Eggsy told him,  
A long moment of silence had stretched between them, before Merlin stood and walked over to Eggsy.He ran his hand over the back of Eggsy's neck almost petting the hair at his nape. Finally the older man piped up again.  
“Thank ye, Lad. I actually believe ye could be.”


	2. Diving In

It only took a few weeks before the restlessness of never leaving the small house began to grate on Eggsy.

He missed his mum and his friends. He missed exploring and being able to move and flow as he pleased.  At first he tried being subtle an dropping hints about him going to town, but in the end it had finally come down to him using the best pout in his arsenal before Merlin let Eggsy join him on a trip to the town. Eggsy had to promise to behave, which he had done with a bounce in his step. Merlin had rolled his eyes, and thrown an old jumper and a worn jacket at him, announcing he’d need to stay warm outside.

  
They’d walked the two miles with Eggsy constantly asking questions about the things he was seeing around him. The mountains, the trees, the people who walked by. He’d nearly screamed when he saw the small horse drawn cart come past them. Merlin had laughed at him for the first time then. He’d been all amused smiles for the past year , but a laugh was new. Eggsy liked it.

  
The town itself was beautiful, and Eggsy told Merlin as much. All the cottages were a bright crisp white, with dark grey slatted roofs. The people milling around were happy, cheerfulness ebbed from Eggsy's skin and he greeted every single person as they passed. Everyone seemed to know Merlin, and it left Eggsy feeling sad, that the other man had spent so much of his life alone.

  
He didn’t have much of a chance to think on it though, because just then Merlin had taken his arm and pulled him into the small, but cozy, Eggsy thought to himself, grey stone pub.   
Eggsy had heard of places like this from Merlin’s books. Places where people drank ale, and whisky and their heads became fuzzy, and their hearts desires spilled freely from their mouths. They hadn’t really seemed too appealing. Especially under the weight of his troubles. If anyone had one too many secreted worth holding onto it was him.

  
Merlin had gently guided Eggsy down into a seat at a table in the corner, and told him to wait. He’d headed across to the bar, and started talking with a pretty blonde woman. Eggsy hadn’t really known what to do, so he  had just sat there and  taken in his surroundings.

  
The pub was much nicer than Eggsy had been lead to believe they would be. There were some men at one table, playing a game with cards that looks far too complicated for Eggsy to understand. There was a young man, hungrily shoveling food into his mouth, to the disgust of the young woman who was, much to her own unhappiness, seated across from him. An older, bearded man, with his arm around a scantily clad younger woman. He was whispering things into her ear, making her blush and giggle.

  
Eggsy’s eyeline was cut off by Merlin returning and taking the seat opposite him. He placed a mug of ale down in front of himself, and pushed a tall glass across to Eggsy. The glass was filled with a honey coloured bubbling liquid. Eggsy picked it up and sniffed at it, it smelled pleasant enough, sweet and fragrant.   
“What’s this?” Eggsy asked.   
“A human delicacy.” Merlin replied, a smirk on his face. He nodded to the glass, “Try it.”

  
An hour and four glasses of champagne later, Eggsy was giggling near hysterically and face down on the table. His head felt heavy and he didn’t quite know what was so funny. Merlin had all but carried him home. Eggsy didn’t remember much about the rest of the night, but it's rather certain, he will never forgot the terrible headache he woke up with the next morning. 

After a few more trips to town,Eggsy soon learned that Harry Hart, one of Merlin’s only friends and also the man that he secretly still in love with after more years than eggsy can count, is a terrible mean and conniving person. He absolutely took a great delight in getting Eggsy as drunk as possible, and teasing embarrassing stories and confessions out of him one afternoon when Merlin had left the two alone to run some errands.

Harry now knew that he was a little scared of JB at first, that he had eaten an entire orange with the skin on because he’d not been told to peel it, and that he thought Merlin was broken when he first heard him snore.

By the time that Merlin had joined them at the pub Eggsy was flushed and smiling, hanging around Harry's neck swaying to some ungodly shanty that the two of them were singing and Merlin couldn't help but think that it was a rather wonderful sight to behold.

\------  


A few days later Merlin had needed to go and discuss something with one of the market traders, and had brought Eggsy along with him into town, he had taken him to the pub and told him to wait there for him with Roxy.

Rox was good people, he could trust her like Harry and almost as much as Merlin. He loved that he could just be himself for a bitThat had been two glasses of mead ago, and Eggsy still hadn’t quite learned to hold his alcohol. It wasn't like he had much experience with the stuff.

  
Eggsy was leant on the bar, loose and smiling while telling Roxy about the turf war his mate, Jamal had got into with a school of dolphins.

  
“An’ one of them thought I was him! I have the scar!” Eggsy pointed to a scar in his eyebrow, “I didn’t know I’d have the scar in this form, and this dolphin bit my face because he thought I was Jamal! I don’t look anythin’ like him”

  
Roxy just laughed and poured more of the mead into his glass, which Eggsy happily drank down.   
“Who won?” Roxy asked, “The turf war, who won?” She prompted when Eggsy seemed somewhat mildly confused.

  
“The dolphins. They’re sneaky. Underhanded and ruthless.” Eggsy lowered his voice, “Bastards the lot of ‘em.”

  
Roxy laughed fondly, while Eggsy turned to look around the bar for the millionth time.   
“Looking for Merlin?” Roxy asked.

  
“Yeah.” Eggsy turned back and rested his chin on folded arms.

“You really like him, don’t you?”

  
“Merlin’s the best human I’ve ever met. I mean, I don’t know many, but he’s definitely my favourite.”

  
“And he’s pretty handsome, right?”

  
“Pfff, so handsome.” Eggsy agreed while trying to not let his eyes roll out of his skull.

  
“You ever told him this?” Roxy looked over Eggsy’s shoulder, nodded at an incoming customer.

  
“You think I should?” Eggsy asked, lifting his head up.

  
“Definitely.”

  
“Please stop corrupting my lodger, Roxy.” Merlin’s voice was warm and familiar and it always made Eggsy feel safer.

  
He turned to look at Merlin, “Hey, Merlin. Roxy thinks I should tell you I think you’re handsome.”

  
Merlin shot a glare at Roxy, “Ye are definitely cut off lad.”

  
“Boo.” Roxy and Eggsy said in unison. 

When Merlin had got Eggsy to bed that night, he could have sworn he’d felt a kiss on his head, and a whisper of “You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

  
\---   
Merlin never mentioned Eggsy’s confession, possibly because he was embarrassed, possibly because he didn’t believe it. Eggsy, however, couldn’t stop thinking about it.

  
He did think Merlin was handsome, and he was his favorite human. He was sure the term he was supposed to use was best friend, but that didn’t seem right. Merlin was more than that. Merlin was the person making dry land bearable. Merlin took him in, looked after him, nursed him back to health. Merlin shared deep, private things with him, that he’d never share with anyone else. Merlin showed him the world, and sometimes looked at Eggsy like he was the world. Eggsy liked when he looked at him like that. He wondered if he looked at Merlin like that.   
He’d found himself drawn more to the romantic fiction since the talk with Roxy, and Merlin had been his Heathcliff, his Rochester, his Mr Darcy as he’d read. There was a warmth in his stomach, and it felt right.

  
He let himself think about Merlin looking at Harry, touching him, or kissing him . His chest was tight, and he felt like it might burst. He didn’t just want to watch Merlin secretly be in love with Harry, because he wasn't dumb and could see it a mile away in a thick fog. He wanted it to be him, not necessarily instead of just him as well.

  
The thoughts had started to keep him up at night, as he tried to figure out what to do with them. He could tell Merlin, and watch him laugh in his face. Or he could hide under the blankets on the sofa, and pretend he wasn’t awake at 4AM when Merlin got up for work. He waited a few hours and then headed into town.  
  
Eggsy wanted to talk to Roxy, but she’d had her eye caught by a beautiful, dark skinned woman and Eggsy didn’t want to intrude.He sat patiently at his and Merlin’s regular table, sipping a glass of water and picking at a large meat pie Percy had dropped in front of him.

  
Merlin was still the only thing Eggsy could think about, and it was driving him insane. He wished he had more people to talk to about what was going on in his head, but aside from Roxy, he didn’t really have anyone. (And JB was exactly  helpful).

  
“I didn’t think anyone could make one of Percy’s pies last that long.”

  
Eggsy looked up to see Harry Hart himself looking down at him, with a warm smile.

  
“We usually feed them to one of the dogs.” Harry jerked his head to where JB was devouring the pie a sheepish looking girl had dropped on the floor.   
Harry nodded to the free seat opposite Eggsy, “Do you mind?”

  
“No, go ahead.”

  
Harry sat down, and placed his umbrella down by his feet.

  
“Are you okay?” Harry asked, “You look less... Eggsy than usual. You’re normally more cheerful than this.”

“You know Merlin's a great cook, could put poor Percival to shame if he wanted.” Eggsy said poking at the pie.

“Yes, I do remember that rather fondly” Harry said with a detached fondness “ But my dear boy, that still didn't answer my question”

  
Eggsy hadn’t intended to spill his problems out to Harry, but he had asked, and his mouth is always careless after a pint or three.   
He’s pretty certain Harry had regretted asking twenty minutes later, when Eggsy had finally finished unloading his confusing feelings about Merlin and him and had his head resting on the table.

  
“Wow.”

  
“Yeah.” Eggsy agreed, into his arm, “I don’t know what to do.”

  
“Besides telling him?”

  
“Except telling him.”

  
“Why can’t you tell him?”

  
Eggsy looked up to Harry, who was smiling and looked slightly amused by the whole thing.

  
“Because.” Eggsy replied. One of Merlin’s favourite answers when Eggsy is annoying him.

  
“Eggsy, I’ve know Merlin a long time.” Harry told him, “And I can count the amount of people he’s kept around as long as you on one hand. Tell him.”

  
Eggsy opened his mouth to disagree, but Harry cut him off, “Trust me.I have obviously already made this exact mistake for far too long.” 


	3. Depths unknown

Eggsy had planned on being cool, suave and irresistible when he told Merlin how he felt about him. He’d planned to wear the nice shirt that Merlin had got him for the Christmas dance the year before, to try and make something for dinner so Merlin didn’t have to force himself to stay awake as he cooked.

He’d planned to have the perfect night for them.  
What he’d got was a burned fish, smoke filling the small kitchen, a bright red stain across the front of the shirt and a yapping JB, topped off with a grumbling Merlin.

Eggsy had been thrown out of the kitchen, and was sat on the couch, while JB fixed him with a look that was far too judgmental for a dog.Merlin had come out of the kitchen, with soot blackened fingers and a face like thunder.

“What the hell, Eggsy?”

Eggsy smiled, sheepish and uncertain, “Surprise?”  
Merlin had stared at him for a long moment, before he’d started laughing. Eggsy had wondered for a moment if he’d broken him. He’d nearly burned down his house, and now Merlin was laughing at him. It seemed a little confusing.

“You’re an idiot.” Merlin sounded fond, and the soft smile on his face was one Eggsy didn’t think he’d ever seen before.

Now or never.

“I just wanted to do something nice for you, since you do so much for me.” Eggsy explained, “And I really like you.”

Merlin took a moment, and Eggsy didn’t know secondary could feel so long.

“So you thought you’d burn down my house?”

“Kitchen.” Eggsy corrected him, “I only burned the kitchen.”

“Semantics.”

Merlin walked across the room, and took a seat next to Eggsy, “Normally when you like someone you don’t burn their property.”

“I’ll remember that for next time.”

Merlin looked up at him, still with a stupid smile that seemed out of place on his face. The moment of silence that fell seemed to last forever, until finally Merlin spoke.

“I really hope there isn’t a next time.”  
Merlin’s eyes fell closed and he leaned forward, pressing the softest, sweetest of kisses to Eggsy’s lips. It was strange, a little scary, but better than anything Eggsy could have ever dreamed of.

Merlin’s hand came up to cup Eggsy’s cheek and his thumb stroked along his cheekbone. He pulled back, ever so slightly, eyes opening and looking at Eggsy with an intensity that was almost too much.

“I really like you too.” Merlin told him, “In case the lack of fire confused you.”  
\---  
Being with Merlin was so easy, so natural.

But it still had been a bit awkward,fumbling and overwhelming that first time, and Eggsy had all but forgotten the mechanics and remembered nothing but the words Merlin whispered to him.

Everything felt like second nature, no less thrilling, no less special, but easy, natural.

Eggsy finds that a whisper behind Merlin’s ear, makes him shake, a kiss to the hip bone makes him gasp, tracing his ribs with his fingers makes him purr his name.

Merlin knows a promise to Eggsy’s collarbone sends a jolt through him, and a tongue at a nipple makes him chuckle, and quiver.They move together naturally, Merlin’s voice in Eggsy’s ear telling him how much he loves him, how perfect he is, how he’s changed his life and he’ll never be the same again.

Eggsy had raced through coral reefs, had chased dolphins, and flown through the waves. Yet nothing had ever felt so thrilling as waking up with Merlin curled around him, head resting on his chest, and legs entwined with his.

Nothing he’d seen was more beautiful than Merlin’s warm smile. No cove could match up to the joy he found in Merlin’s arms. Being in love was thrilling, and exhausting, and Eggsy could see why it was such an obsession on the land.

He wanted to write epic poems about his love for Merlin, sing songs, tell stories of how amazing and wonderful everything felt. It would have been enough to drive him insane, if he hadn’t known that Merlin was feeling it too

As the sunlight drifted in through the window cracks,they both began to come back into themselves. The only sounds are that of the quite morning and their own breaths.

“I found it.” Merlin said alsmost so low that the selkie could barley make it out, Merlin sighed wearily and out loud afterwords, as they simply lay together after their first night.

“You found what? Eggsy asked before it dawned on him what the man could possibly be talking about, “Wait, my pelt?”

Merlin nodded into Eggsy’s shoulder, “A few days ago. I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell ye, trying ta figure out how I could ever possibly let ye go.”

“Merlin.” Eggsy didn’t know what he wanted to say. The last thing he wanted to think about right now was the sea.

“I don’t want ye to go.” Merlin told him, voice quiet and almost unsure, “But I can’t pretend I don’t have it, or that ye have to stay here if you really don’t want to.”

Eggsy took hold of one of Merlin’s hands, pulled it to his lips and pressed a kiss against it, “Thank you.”

He wasn't sure what else he could say.


	4. Rainbows and Butterflies

He’s warm.  
Even in sleep, barely covered by the sheets, he’s still a furnace. Eggsy almost feels burned, skimming his fingers across Merlin’s spine, trying to memorize the feel of his skin. Soft, warm, scarred, imperfect, perfect .  
His handsome face is half pressed into the pillow, and there’s drool falling from his full lips. It’s so messy, so natural that it’s making Eggsy’s heart clench, his stomach tighten and fuck .  
Merlin’s breath hitches, as Eggsy brushes his fingers across the lower knobs of his spine and he lifts his head, slowly and sleepily. There’s pillow creases across his cheek, and Eggsy wants to smooth them out with his thumb.  
Merlin lifts his tired, grey eyes to look at Eggsy, a slow smile forming across his lips.  
“Do you ever sleep?” He asks, voice slow with sleepiness.  
“Not here.” Eggsy replies, “Too much to miss if I close my eyes.”  
Merlin looks like he’d roll his eyes, if only he weren’t so tired. Eggsy’s earnestness has always amused him, he’s always surprised by the lack of cynicism the younger man holds.  
“What time is it?” Merlin asks, easier than calling Eggsy out on his words.  
“Little after 6.” Eggsy replies, “Go back to sleep. We’ve got all day.”  
Merlin looks like he’s contemplating it for a moment, before shaking his head, “Can’t sleep with you staring at me, like some kind of buzzard.”  
Eggsy smiles, tries to pretend he’s not delighted at the idea of another moment with Merlin.  
“Breakfast?”  
JB is nosing around his legs, the tiny dog desperate for any scraps Eggsy will spare him. Merlin had warned him against feeding him right from that first day, but Eggsy couldn’t resist. The pug had flashed his sad brown eyes at him, had whimpered in such a charming way that Eggsy had ended up sharing his fish with him, while Merlin’s back was turned.  
JB doesn’t move as well as he used to, but even now, Eggsy is putty in his little tan paws. Eggsy accidentally drops the end of a sausage on the floor and JB yowls in appreciation before lapping it up.  
Merlin gives him a look across the table, and Eggsy shrugs, “It’s a goodbye.”  
What do you want?” Merlin asks, reaching for Eggsy’s hand across the table, “Anything. I’ll make it happen.”  
Eggsy thinks for a long moment, as Merlin’s thumbs brushes across his knuckles, and JB rubs against his calf.  
There’s nothing else he could want.

They stand side by side, cleaning the dishes together. Eggsy bumping Merlin’s hip, Merlin splashing him with water. They’re laughing, and not getting anything done very fast, and Eggsy wouldn’t change it for anything.  
Merlin’s smile is bright, and blinding, and Eggsy wonders if he’ll be able to see it from the ocean.

  
The dishes done, with several breaks for soft kisses and bubble fights, Eggsy asks if they can take a walk into the town. He wants to say goodbye to his friends, to Roxy and Harry. He wants to see the bustling human world one final time, to have a final taste of the sweet wine he’d become so obsessed with over the time he was here.  
“Is that really a good idea, Eggsy?” Merlin asks, a wicked smile on his face.

  
The walk into town is bittersweet, as Eggsy tries to memorize every hill, every tree, every meandering road. The sound of JB’s paws pattering across the gravel path.  
The feeling of Merlin’s hand in his.  
There’s so much for him to remember, he’s scared something will fall through the cracks. It can’t be Merlin.  
“Will you remember me?” Eggsy asks, as they walk. His voice is quiet, he doesn’t know if Merlin even heard him.  
“Fondly.” Merlin replies, “Whenever someone vomits on my dog, or eats all my food, or asks me intrusive questions about my life.”

The pub itself was quiet, the few regular customers still propping up the bar at 11AM, Roxy and Percival behind the bar. Merlin and Eggsy made their way through the maze of tables, JB making sure to sniff and growl at every chair leg they passed, and found their way to their favourite spot in the back.  
“I’m going to miss this place.” Eggsy admits, “We don’t have places like this. Obviously.”  
“Your drinks would be even more watered down.” Merlin muses, with a smile.  
“I resent that.” Roxy says, dropping down on the stool across from them, “I have never watered down a drink in my life. I won’t get Eggsy drunk on water.”  
“Worth a shot.” Merlin smirks.  
Eggsy huffs, “M’not that bad.”  
Merlin squeezes Eggsy’s thigh under the table, “You really, truly are.”  
He gets to his feet, and walks across to the bar. Eggsy watches as he leaves, and hell, even these brief moments without Merlin by his side are killing him.  
“Why are you leaving?” Roxy asks, bringing him back to the moment.  
Eggsy looks back to her, “What?”  
“Why are you leaving him?” Roxy asks, “You could stay here with him. You should stay with him.”  
“ Roxy. ”  
“ Eggsy. ”  
And the thing is, Eggsy is struggling to think of reasons he should go home. He knows he should, he knows he should be longing for the sea, and his family and that they deserve to know what’s happened to him.  
But here there’s Merlin.  
“Don’t ask me to stay.”  
“But if Merlin did?” Roxy asks.  
Eggsy stays quiet.  
“I’ve never seen him happy, Eggsy.” Roxy tells him, “After Mairi, we didn’t think he’d be okay again, and then you came along.”  
“I have to, Roxy. My family…”  
“You’ve been gone for close to two years, Eggsy.” She’s not trying to be cruel, she’s trying to be honest and it’s not like Eggsy hasn’t wondered if they even remember him, “What about the family you’d leave behind?”  
“He’s made his choice, Roxy.” Merlin says, as he returns to the table. He places a glass of wine in front of Eggsy, and sits next to him.  
“The wrong choice.” Roxy mutters, “Merlin, how can you let him leave?”  
“I’m not letting him do anything, Roxy.” Merlin snaps back.  
“I can hear you, by the way.” Eggsy says into his glass. He doesn’t want to argue. He’s fought with his own mind long enough over this, he doesn’t need his friends to do it too.  
“You’re happy for the first time since I’ve known you, and you’re going to give that up?” Roxy asks, “This isn’t the Merlin I know.”  
“Then maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought.” Merlin replies, angrily.  
“Obviously not.” Roxy gets to her feet and turns to Eggsy. Her look softens, she smiles sadly, “I’ll miss you, Eggsy.”  
Eggsy stands as well, wraps his arms around Roxy, “You too, Roxy.”  
\---  
“Please don’t be mad at Roxy.”  
“I’m not mad at her.” Merlin insists.  
“You seem pretty mad.”  
“Drop it, Eggsy.”  
Merlin’s voice has turned cold, has turned into a cruel drawl and it’s not how Eggsy wants to remember him.  
“Do you want to leave?” Eggsy asks.  
“No, I want to stay.”  
And Eggsy gets the feeling this is another one of those conversations that is outwardly about one thing, but is actually about Eggsy leaving him. Eggsy doesn’t have the energy for this right now, and gets to his feet.  
“Where are you going?” Merlin asks.  
“I need some air.” Eggsy replies.  
\---  
Eggsy stands at the edge of the beach, staring out at the sea. A crazy part of him wants to run in now, never look back and forget all about Merlin . He knows it’s because he’s pissed off at the man, but it doesn’t make the call of the ocean any less strong.  
Being human is messy, and complicated, and it hurts as much as it feels good, and Eggsy isn’t very good at it.  
He hears footsteps behind him, and they’re too light to be Merlin. He’s both relieved and sad at the same time, and he hates it.  
“Roxy gets a hug, and I don’t even get a handshake?”  
Harry. Eggsy’s only other friend on land. Eggsy turns around and smiles sadly at him.  
“I wasn’t going yet.” Eggsy assures him, “I think.”  
Harry comes to stand by Eggsy, “I saw you two fighting.”  
“I don’t like fighting. It’s messy, and so human .” Eggsy huffs.  
“One of our many flaws.” Harry agrees, “Thought Merlin seems to have it down to an art.”  
“Especially this fight.” Eggsy hates how bitter he sounds. Selkies don’t get bitter. They’re happy, playful creatures. He’s... he’s just not anymore.  
“Why are you leaving?” Harry asks, before quickly adding, “You don’t have to answer. I just thought you and Merlin were happy.”  
“I have to.” Eggsy replies, “If I don’t, I can never go home.”  
Harry nods, “You sure you’re not already home?”  
Eggsy made sure to hug Harry so hard before he left that he probably broke a rib, so he’s certain the sound of feet behind him aren’t him coming back for more. He also knows those footfalls after two years, and as much as he just wants to turn and run towards them, he’s still pissed.  
“Eggsy.”  
“I’m not leaving without saying goodbye,” Eggsy assures him.  
Merlin comes up beside him, “Good. I’d hate to have to kidnap you from the sea to say goodbye.”  
“You’d probably catch a sea lion by mistake.”  
Merlin huffs a small laugh.  
Eggsy turns to look at him, “I don’t want to fight.”  
“Me neither.” He slides a hand into Eggsy’s, “Do you want to go back to the house?”  
Eggsy nods, turning to look back to the ocean, “I think I can remember this well enough now.”

The heavens had opened as the three of them had walked home. The rain falling so hard that it had hurt their skin, the thunder exploding overhead, as lightning split the sky.  
Merlin had taken a shaking JB into his arms as they’d run the final half mile, alternating between cursing and laughing.  
Now in front of the warm fire, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, Eggsy feels almost like the storm himself. Turbulent, wild, cold.  
Merlin is in the kitchen, warming milk over the stove, and Eggsy feels like ice without him by his side. He looks up to the clock over the fireplace, sees the late afternoon time and wishes time could stand still.  
As the seconds keep ticking by, Eggsy gets to his feet. He doesn’t want to be away from Merlin a second longer than he has to be. He goes to the kitchen, where Merlin is stirring the milk in a copper bottom pot.  
Eggsy comes up behind him, wraps his arms around his waist and rests his head in his neck.  
Merlin leans back into the embrace for a moment, before turning round to face Eggsy.  
“Wh- ?”  
Eggsy silences him with a kiss. He’s not interested in cocoa, or warming up by the fire. He wants to take Merlin to bed, to share last tender moments with him, to take him apart and see his very soul, so he can remember every last piece of him.

Once again he awoke with Merlin’s arms wrapped around him, Merlin whispering against his shoulder how much he loved him, how he didn’t want him to go, didn’t want him to leave him, how he wished he could go with him, how he’d abandon the world for Eggsy.  
Eggsy needs to move, needs to climb out of the bed and pull himself away from Merlin or he’ll never leave. And he needs to leave. He needs to leave.  
“Merlin.” Eggsy whispers quietly, “I need…”  
Merlin’s arms tighten further about Eggsy’s waist, “Just five more minutes.”  
Merlin begins pressing kisses into his neck, his shoulder, his hair, “Please, Eggsy, please don’t leave me.”  
There’s a wetness against Eggsy’s arm, and he knows Merlin is crying. He can’t see Merlin crying, he’ll never leave. He’ll break, and he’ll stay forever, and he wants to stay forever. God, he wants to stay more than he’s wanted anything. Why is he fighting this so much?  
Why does he have to leave? It’s been years, is the ocean really his home? More than this little cottage, with its scorched walls, its scuffed floorboards, the bed with the dented mattress, the lumpy sofa, JB. Merlin.  
“I don’t want to go.”  
The words are so quiet, Eggsy wonders if he’s just thought them. He almost hopes he has. Does he mean them? Does he really want to give everything up for the land, for the messy, confusing human life he’s been saddled with?  
“Merlin,” Eggsy says, louder, “I don’t want to go. I want to stay.”  
Merlin stops his kisses, leaves his forehead pressed against Eggsy’s shoulder, “Don’t say it unless you mean it.”  
“I mean it. Merlin. I mean it, I want to stay.” He rolls over, to make sure he’s looking Merlin in the eyes. They’re wet with tears, red and how could Eggsy have ever thought this was okay.  
He takes Merlin’s face in his hands, “I want to stay. If you’ll have me. I want to stay with you.”  
Eggsy wipes Merlin’s tears from his cheeks.  
“And how do I know you won’t just leave as soon as I fall asleep?” Merlin asks. Eggsy doesn’t know if he’s joking, or if he really thinks Eggsy could ever leave without saying goodbye.  
The answer, when it comes, is so perfect, Eggsy wonders how he’s never thought about it before.  
“ Normally when you like someone,” Eggsy says, wiping another tear from Merlin’s cheek, “You don’t burn their property but I could do it again if it would help.”  
It takes Merlin a moment before the realisation hits him, and his smile grows so wide it could eclipse the sun.

 

 


End file.
